The crazy reason I sometimes miss detention is the same reason I miss a lot of probably unpleasant things: fear of missing out.
I know what you’re thinking—the point of detention is that you’re detained. You, in your teenage prime, after 7 hours of school, have to sit for another hour of school, but drained of any educational pretense. How on Earth could I miss detention?!
Me, a former teacher’s pet and current Media Studies professor?!
Well friends, I’ll tell you.
Conversations that Never Happened
I miss sitting in the room with the kids I thought were cool but was too shy to talk to, faintly glowing in solidarity with our common complaint: detention. Can you believe we have to sit here for a whole hour? Isn’t Mr. Arnold a jerk? Isn’t study hall a joke? Those conversations never happened, but for an entire hour they could have.
Detained at my desk in a dimly-lit room, I could feel the air spark with possibility. Since I never got detention, my mom wouldn’t think to pick me up and I’d have to catch a ride with detention regulars Kurt and Nickie. They of course wouldn’t go straight home, but would stop at Waffle House or the Hasty Tasty for coffee, cigarettes, and conversation on amazing topics. Then maybe we’d have to visit their friend Ian, who for some reason did not have detention today, and so I’d finally get to see where in the neighborhood my crush lived.
Maybe we’d have to hang out in his basement rec room and watch TV or play video games. Maybe we’d have to sit on the same couch. Maybe we’d graze elbows…. As the hours pass, I’d lose all hope of home—one detention would give way to another until I’d be able to lay claim to a series of experiences rival to those in Dazed and Confused. All of this was possible in detention.
Back to Detention
Hopefully now you see where I’m coming from, and won’t raise an eyebrow when I ask you to go back with me—back to detention. Because sometimes dreams do come true and you don’t miss out. Sit with the cool kids, air your discontent, undersell your parents, and dream your dreams with me in Detention Book Club.
The best part is, you don’t have to read the books, but you do have to come to Detention!
Detention Book Club runs in three Month Cycles.
Monday January 13th we will be meeting virtually to discuss Doppelganger by Naomi Klein. For those of you who like facebook invites here’s a link. For everyone else sign up here.
