A Month Of… Next Stop Unexpected!

In a crowded corporate building elevator out in the northwest suburbs, I was designated the floor selector by positioning. The occupancy limit had been passed I’m sure because my shoulder was shoved snugly into a corner. Mid flight, I accidentally leaned against the fire alarm button. The elevator stopped and the lights flickered red. People reacted very calmly as though it were a drill and it gave me a feeling of responsibility – I owed these people a lesson in caution. So, I worked up a decent hyperventilation sequence, started darting my eyes side to side and announced that if we didn’t get out of here soon that my claustrophobia would kick in and I’d projectile vomit on the crowd.

A tall man in the back snickered and I glared at him with teary eyes and dry heaved in his direction. His smile melted away as he joined the rest of the passengers in the opposite corner of the elevator. When what seemed like an army of people found a way to jam into a 3×3 square of fear and left me a good 2 foot stage, I started taking solid steps toward them whilst holding the walls as if I couldn’t stand the bile building in my esophagus. The dry heaves grew louder and my trembling began with theirs. The people in the back closed there eyes and turned there heads. The woman who – by pure misfortune – found herself in front began squishing her face as to conjure all the distance she could from her fate.

I began humming and they started shouting and shoving. Suddenly, my dry heave became a little wetter than I’d planned and in an effort to not make a strange situation hysterical by emptying a tummy full of Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddle in a thick spritz, I clenched my whole body and gulped with thunderous force. The result was a long-winded, well-busted, back-breaking, olfactory insulting gaseous release. The unforgiving stench heated the room instantly. I found it best to stop the charade and disengage the elevator alarm and move on with my life.

~drgnlfyy

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1930464445/jennifer-hall-a-new-ep

:)