Cory O'Brien is a Word Wizard and Technojester of the nth degree. He works in a wood shop, making things look older than they actually are. Obviously he has a Master's Degree.

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  1. Cory’s Elevator Task: It’s Raining Men, and Those Men Are All George Washington — 3 comments
  2. Moving On — 3 comments

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No Shirt No Shoes and I Don’t Get Service

I hate this task for two reasons. One: I don’t have much money, which makes dining out repeatedly a losing proposition. The only place I can afford to dine out at repeatedly is the restaurant I used to work at, where the manager consistently buys me food and it doesn’t matter what I wear. Which …

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A List of My Fears

I’m a very impatient person. This stems, I think, from one of my greatest fears: being helpless. When I was little, zombies terrified me with their promise of slowly undoing my mind and forcing me to eat my friends. These days I still have a lot of trouble being put under anasthesia. I often wake …

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Hearing Voices, Cory’s Version

This month’s task lends itself to a sort of wacky, jackass-style completion. But the title has all kinds of awesome religious implications. For both these reasons, I decided to do something a little different. Let’s start at the beginning. I have this tattoo on my left wrist: It only takes up about three square inches …

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Permanent link to this article: http://storyluck.org/3854/

Cory’s Elevator Task: It’s Raining Men, and Those Men Are All George Washington

Pursuant to the assigned directive, my associates and I induced fiduciary precipitation in a dumbwaiter. In other words, me and my homies brought a stack of bills into an elevator and made it fuckin’ rain.

I’m not sure how we originally arrived at the idea (we being me and Miss Polly “The Uke-meister” Yukevich), but it appealed to us on a number of levels. One, it would definitely be unexpected. Two, a rain of dollar bills has the potential to really brighten someone’s day. Three, we really wanted to treat a bunch of business professionals like strippers.

We figured we should make it rain on a weekday, since that’s when most elevators in the Loop get the heaviest traffic. Ideally we were looking for a building tall enough and busy enough to have an express elevator, so that the skipped floors would give us more time to do our thing. We figured fifty dollars would be enough to achieve the desired effect. Aside from that, we needed business clothes (for disguise) and a portable speaker (for blasting dance music in the elevator). During our practice runs in Polly’s apartment, we also determined that it’s hard to make it rain effectively unless you are standing on some kind of elevated structure, such as a bar at a strip club or – in our case – a plastic crate.

This crate is also my bedside table. Highly practical in a variety of situations.

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